Most of the Wisdom I’ve Acquired in My Past 30 Years
Today is my 30th birthday! Wow! That feels crazy to say, 30 sounds like such an adult age but I couldn’t feel more young. Growing up, you always have this idea of what being 30 is going to be like, what your life will look like. For me that was old, really old, and not something I really thought about (you know why if you read this post lol) so being here, typing that out, is wild!
I wanted to take today and rather than make it all about me (online at least) I wanted to give you guys something, something you can’t buy anywhere. Wisdom. I’ve had my fair share of experiences in my long 30 years and with those experiences come lessons learned. What good are those lessons if I don’t pass them along? So without further delay I’d like to share some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned thus far.
The only person you should be competing with is yourself.
It took me a long time to truly stop comparing and that’s not me saying that I never do it anymore, because unfortunately we all fall victim to the comparison game and believe me, nobody ever wins. What I’m saying is that when I set goals for myself now it’s always to be better than I was the day/week/month/year before not to compete with the achievements I see people around me experiencing. This can be especially hard in the bloggersphere but it’s important for your sanity. When you compete with yourself and you see the progress it’s truly more fulfilling than ever being “better” than anyone else.
Most people are really friendly so take the first step.
I’m so shy, like uncomfortably shy until you get to know me then I’m a complete clown. But because of my shyness it has taken me longer to step out of my comfort zone and go to networking events, chat up strangers or even feel confident sparking up random conversation via social media. I’ve always had my squad of friends so I justified my behavior and continued to be antisocial for literally years. Once I started blogging and getting invited to events that my normal squad was not able to attend and forced to talk to new people I realized that I could no longer just depend on always having “my people” around me and it was time to branch out. It was so terrifying walking into my first blogger event but every girl I chatted with that day became and are still some of my closest blogger girlfriends. And guess what, we’ve all joked and laughed about how we all literally felt the exact same way walking in, terrified. We were all worried that the other girls wouldn’t know us, therefore wouldn’t be friendly. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Isn’t that crazy? So next time you’re feeling awkward at a party or engagement go chat someone up, chances are they’re feeling the exact same nervous jitters you are and could potentially become a lifelong friend.
When in doubt, go to the party
You can always go home early but you can never “un-not-go” does that make sense? Basically, go to the event and guess what, if you hate it and absolutely can’t bare the thought of another minute there then you can always leave. I’m not a huge “FOMO” person, I’m a homebody and an introvert so sometimes getting myself out of the house for things non-work related can be a struggle. However, looking back there are far fewer experiences that I wish I had stayed home for instead of going to than vice versa. No new opportunities or friends are going to be made on your couch so get out there!
Experiences really are more important than material things
Travel, go to events and site see like crazy you guys. You will not regret it! In my early twenties I spent all of my money on clothes and alcohol, but mostly clothes. Oh man, I’m not exaggerating when I say that I “had to go shopping every Friday”, it was excessive. Then I went on my first group trip; leading up to the trip I had to be frugal to afford it-it was hard AF! I almost gave up but I persevered and after the 4 day trip I was a changed person. I came back and immediately gave up my weekly shopping habit for a quarterly vacation habit and never looked back. The memories gained from those vacations are so cherished and they’re mine for a lifetime whereas most of the clothing and other junk I was buying gave me only temporary happiness and multiple hangovers.
It’s ok to be selfish every once in a while
If you don’t look out for yourself who will? I’m not saying treat the world as if it revolves around you but every once in a while sit back and reevaluate your life and if things aren’t making you happy or helping you to live your best life, cut them! Do it for you, for your sanity, for your future. On a smaller scale, try to think before you respond to invitations. What I mean by this is simple: you don’t always want to go watch a little league game but when your friend asked you to go you said yeah without even thinking and now it’s a hundred degrees you have laundry to do, a dog to walk, errands to run but yet you feel obligated to be at that game. No, stop doing that to yourself! You owe it to yourself to do things that make you happy.
Sometimes just being there is good enough
Words don’t come easy to me. I know, “but you’re a blogger?” Yeah, I can talk about fashion like it’s my business because it is my business but when it comes to emotional situations…I just can’t. I’m not the best at consoling or even being around highly emotional people because talking feelings makes me feel highly uncomfortable. I just don’t ever know what to say to help someone who’s upset but I do know how to bake for friends, to give hugs (just don’t get excessive), and most importantly to listen. And when someone is upset that’s all they really want is someone to be there for them and to hear them out so don’t worry about always having the right words to say. More often than not they don’t need you to say a thing.
Forgive as often as you can
Ok, this is a hard one for me to preach because it’s one of the harder things for me to practice but in situations where you can find it in your heart to forgive someone of an injustice, just do it. Do it for you, for the sake of not walking around holding a grudge. Now I’m not saying you have to forgive everyone and forget everything, hell I don’t forget a thing, ever and sometimes I forgive people without ever even talking to them again, because like I said, it’s for you not them.
You are your habits
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. If you want to be a marathon runner, book writer etc then start doing it! It’s really that simple. Nothing happens overnight, so keep at it!
If you don’t want someone else to dictate your life you have to come up with a game plan
What’s important to you? What do you truly enjoy doing? Figure out your passion as soon as possible and go make money doing it! Otherwise you’re punching the clock, working to build up someone else’s big dream. Where’s the fun in that? Achieving your dreams takes hard work, perseverance and a plan of action.
Nothing lasts forever
Jobs, relationships, friendships, partnerships, vacations, depression, loneliness, winning, losing. It all stops at some point so enjoy the highs and fear not during the lows because they won’t be around forever. That’s why it’s so important to be present in your life at every stage, during every moment to learn from and grow from. Put your phones down and actually chat with your loved ones when they’re around because they too won’t last forever.
Exercise is the best form of therapy
Look, I think talking with a therapist is great-having someone who’s completely unbiased hear out your innermost thoughts, fears, goals and personal issues can ease a lot of stress. I’ve done the whole life coach route before and truly enjoyed the sessions but there’s nothing that compares to putting on your headphones and getting a good sweat out. Personally, I love a good run but find your preferred workout and let that be your go-to stress reliever, more than that make it a daily part of your routine. Not only do you get those endorphins pumping the results of a hot bod definitely don’t hurt your mood either.
Age is just a number
Don’t stress the number so much you guys, it’s really just that, a number. It plays no part in your energy, your relationships, your ambitions, hell even your maturity, anything. When you start acting old is when you become old, not because of the date on your birth certificate.
No matter your past, you control your future
I get it, life is hard. Maybe you had the worst childhood imaginable, you were homeless, an orphan, or just really underprivileged. You feel like you were robbed of a childhood. Trust me, I get it, but the longer you let those things hold you back from going after your goals the longer you let your life get away from you. You have the potential to change your life, to change your surroundings and your mindset no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through but it’s up to you and only you. Make a plan for your future then map out the steps to get to where you want to be.
Wearing
Dress: Dress the Population via Nordstrom
Shoes: Sam Edelman
Earrings: Forever 21
Xx Sylvia
Location: Pearl Snap Hall
Brands & Shops I love
